Fruit of the Vine

I recently read an article about a Christian’s perspective on alcohol. Now, to most devout Catholics (the ones I know), alcohol has never been something that has been bad or wrong. But growing up in a very conservative, evangelical atmosphere, I always thought taking the littlest sip of alcohol would be sinful. My perspective changed before I became Catholic, however, I thought I would post the article and see what y’all think about it:

http://www.crossroadschristian.org/blogs/blog/12806077-can-a-christian-drink-alcohol

My take-

I can’t say that I necessarily disagree with anything that was said in this article (minus a few Proverbs that I believe were taken out of context). I still think that the author was attempting to place guilt on people who do not believe drinking alcohol is wrong. Proclaiming many horrible instances where alcohol ended in tragedy does not make it wrong or somehow less moral, which is the vibe I am getting. Also left out is that many, many people in this country do drink responsibly, especially many who are devout Christians. I’m not trying to sound typical, but Jesus did turn water into wine. Fermented. Actual wine. It’s the same word used for wine when the Bible is speaking negatively of alcohol (i.e. drunkenness). Having a beer or a glass of wine is a way of socially connecting with people- meeting for a drink after work, or having a beer at home with dinner, etc. The negative connotation comes from the abuse of it.

“If you don’t touch alcohol, you don’t have to worry about the potentially negative effects of it,”

is something I typically hear from those who are against drinking alcohol. Apply this to anything: If you don’t log on to the internet, you don’t have to worry about pornography. If you don’t eat trans fats, you don’t have to worry about being obese and at a higher risk for heart disease. So, while I see the point here, and like I said, I don’t necessarily disagree with it, nor judge those who choose to abstain from alcohol, I also believe that saying that “it’s not the best choice,” is still passing judgement, even when the author says they don’t judge those who chose differently than he would choose. I would also like to say that out of respect, I would never drink around someone who is uncomfortable with it, but shouldn’t this be the response from any decent human being?

The key is that we ask God to help us make good decisions in all areas of our life. What are your thoughts?

Identity

I’ve long struggled with how I would talk about this topic for many reasons- I am embarrassed. I don’t want people to think I’m looking for attention. I don’t want to be labeled a hypocrite by my non-religious friends. I don’t want to be hated and tossed aside by the Christian culture. I don’t want to offend…

I’m talking about the fact that I’m a gay Catholic. A little about myself:

I have been to hell and back my whole life when it comes to my sexuality and how that works with my spirituality. When I was a child, I remember always being attracted to the same sex. There never was a moment that I thought that I was attracted to the opposite sex. This was a problem. I was always told by my church that being gay was wrong and that surely only normal, healthy Christians are straight. So what did I do? I dated girls. Naturally. I tried so hard to be “normal” as a developing teenager, all the while, trying to be a good Christian. I went to college, still having told no one of my sexual identity, because I was convinced that it would magically disappear one day. I read books about suppressing my sexuality in the name of “spiritual growth,” and went to counseling. I dated more women and was even briefly engaged. After graduating from college, I moved to Cleveland to pursue my graduate degree. While I was living in Cleveland, I finally came into full communion with the Catholic church (see older posts for the details), and spiritually, I finally felt like I was where I belonged. I was excited to finally be a Catholic and was equally excited to continue growing in my faith and learning about the Church. At this point, I had really swept the whole issue of my sexual identity under the rug. I didn’t know what to do with it, so I just ignored it.

It wasn’t even a month later that I met somebody. I met a man that I fell for- and I fell hard and fast. It was so unexpected. In the beginning it was a fun and thrilling relationship- and I began to finally feel fulfillment in my suppressed sexual self. I began to slowly slip further and further away from my faith in order to explore this part of my life. The fact of the matter is that eventually my life fell apart, I lost friends, I burned bridges and two years later I ended up a single man, far from God, lonely, with my heart literally aching in a way that I had never felt in my life. I was angry at God and I was angry with myself that I let my sexuality take over my entire identity.

It was over the next three months that I came back to my faith. I honestly never felt like I left it completely, but I definitely wasn’t actively pursuing it every day (any day, really). But, my whole life has changed in the last four years, and I have learned so much. My identity is in Jesus. God loves me and made me a gay man. I didn’t choose my sexuality, however, I must choose to live how God desires me to live. 

CATECHISM: “Sexuality affects all aspects of the human person in the unity of his body and soul. It especially concerns affectivity, the capacity to love and to procreate, and in a more general way the aptitude for forming bonds of communion with others. Everyone, man and woman, should acknowledge and accept their sexual identity… The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. [Homosexuals] are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.”

This is still a process. I don’t have it all figured out. I’m not even sure it makes sense to anyone else but me, honestly. I’m so thankful for so many of my friends who have prayed and continue to pray for me. I’m thankful for the saints in heaven that pray for me, especially our Mother and St. Gregory.

I say all of this first and foremost to give praise to a God who continues to love me when I don’t deserve it and repeatedly bring me out of the depths of my own self pity and unrighteousness. Secondly, I pray that evangelical America can come to realize that how they talk about homosexuality is often times uncaring, uninformed, and unintelligent. Finally, if someone reading this is going through something similar, I pray you find your hope in Jesus, and realize that he made you and he loves you.

“This is how I identify myself, as a child of God; what a beautiful identity!” -Pope Francis

John 6 and The Eucharist

I happened upon a blog the other trying to explain away, very intelligently, the “Catholic view” of Holy Communion. I won’t post it because I don’t know if the blogger would like that or not, but I am currently taking that on as my next major topic to blog about. I did make a brief(ish) comment on his blog that I would like to share in the meantime:

“Interesting read, however, I do not agree. Having been raised evangelical Christian, I have heard similar, almost identical arguments. (I came into full communion with the Catholic Church a few years ago). The general problem with Protestant theology is the idea that each saved individual is given the power through the Holy Spirit to interpret Scripture… which ironically is precisely, in many ways, why we have thousands and thousands of post-Reformation Christian denominations. Christ gave this authority to the Church, which is evident throughout the new testament. To say over and over again “the Catholic belief is…” might be accurate, but it was the unified, dogmatic, Christian belief right up until the Reformation (though Luther did believe in the true presence). The historical Christian doctrine of the Eucharist is long standing and accurate. The idea that “it’s all just a symbol” is relatively new in terms of historical Christian belief, and depending on which church you belong to, there are a plethora of beliefs when it comes to Holy Communion, again based on individual interpretation. The Catholic view on John 6 is exegetically accurate and historically proven to be what Christians believed up to and after the Reformation. Mind you, these Christians who believed in the true presence were the ones whom the Holy Spirit guided to assemble the books of the new testament as we know them today. So, while I hear what you are trying to say based on your personal study of the text, and I even ascribed to a version of yours most of my life, I know that the next Protestant might have a slightly different version of it. To me, that’s a red flag. Christ desires the Church to be unified in all beliefs. We need to ask ourselves what that looks like. We need to ask Him for truth, and not rely on ourselves. Just my two cents… I certainly meant all of the above with respect for what you believe, as my brother in Christ. God Bless.”

I often find it hard to communicate my Catholic beliefs to my Protestant brothers and sisters without offending them, so I usually find myself finishing my thoughts with qualifying statements like the one above. I can only speak from my experience, and I honestly do desire to respect all beliefs. More to come…

Daily Conversion

   What does it mean to convert? To (a)transform, to (b)change, to (c)chose something else, to (d)adapt to a new or different purpose… All acceptable answers. And since my blog proposes that I care about this word, which I do, let’s talk about it. Why did I chose this title? Well, I wanted to pick something catchy and different, something faith based, and something… challenging. Indeed it is. Of course, I’m speaking in religious terms, but the phrase could equally relate to general every day life. Every morning we wake up, we make a million choices, and even the simplest of them relate to the word conversion. For example, you had a bad day yesterday. You got up late and you were behind all day. Today, you chose to transform how yesterday went, by changing what you did and adapt to a new, better plan. (See what I did there? ;-)) It’s a mini life conversion. We feel better when we make these positive conversions, yes? 

   Of course, my blog title isn’t really referring to the above mentioned type of conversion. Those are good, yes, and they should be celebrated, but my blog is referring to spiritual conversion. I have to make a choice every day before I get out of bed, how I am going to live my life… THAT day. I’m lucky if I get up once a week and think about it, honestly. If I truly thought about converting each day, I wonder how different my life would be. I’m not talking about the overarching “conversion to Christianity,” but a daily conversion to live my life how Christ would. I don’t know about you, but when I wake up in the morning, my mind is going crazy thinking about everything but converting my spiritual life.

   Today, I thought about the correlation with the word conversion when it’s used in sports. So much excitement surrounds a player when he converts 2 points and wins the football game in the last second, or a team when free throw conversion was the difference in their winning the basketball game. These conversions are exciting. It’s celebrated. It’s a necessity to win.

   I want to win my daily battles. I want to be more like Christ. I want to show compassion and love to the world. In order to do this, I need to ask God, every day, to transform me and use me. This is where it needs to start- with myself.

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Open my eyes, Lord, to see my true thoughts and motivations. I don’t want to hold on to the self-righteous things I consider worthy but which you have called filthy rags. I want to be emptied of any condemning attitudes toward others, for condemnation only brings bondage to both of us. Release me, Father, from the grip of negative thoughts and critical attitudes. Let your cleansing blood wash over me now. You can remove the selfish motivations deep within me for you know every corner of my heart. Bring into the light my “logs” of self-righteousness and pride. I don’t want them anymore! I ask for your forgiveness. I want room for your presence and your life. I ask you to transform me into your image and likeness.

 

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death. Amen.

 

St. Catherine of Siena, pray for us. 

St. Anthony, pray for us.

St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us. 

St. Julian, pray for us. 

St. Gregory, pray for us. 

 

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Challenging Changes

   “To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often.” -Cardinal Newman

   I’ve always been a proponent of change. I’ve always welcomed it. Change can be a very positive and uplifting thing and I have made many changes throughout my life that were much needed. For example, when I was 23 years old, I came to the realization that I was very unhappily overweight at 265 pounds. I made an intentional change to lose weight, which included getting a gym membership and going five times a week. I found myself at 195 pounds just one year later. This is the kind of change that is easy to endure; the kind that makes one feel good and want to celebrate life. But there is another kind of change that even though it may be necessary, it is often unexpectedly difficult. This type of change could be driven by one or more of many circumstances that differ depending on the individual. It throws you into an emotional whirlwind that makes you challenge every part of your existence. Dramatic? Yeah. True? Absolutely. 

   If I were to tell you that I completely expected my life to turn out the way it has so far, it would be an enormous lie. The truth is, the last 4 years have been the most unexpected and challenging years of my life. Moving to Cleveland, getting my Master’s degree, starting work in the service industry… all of these were changes that seemed more natural and easy. The first major change, and the one I believe set off a chain of them, was my choice to become Catholic. Now, this would fall into the category of intentional change. I made this decision because I knew I had to. I knew that it’s where God wanted me to be. I was happy, and finally felt resolve in my my quest for true faith. (See previous blogs for this story). Just one month after this, another change hit me. It came out of nowhere. I met a man who made me happy. Someone who made me feel like I was worth something. I fell in love. I entered into a relationship of two years, and moved in with him. Without divulging details, things eventually fell apart and my heart was aching unlike it ever had. Directly after this, yet another change: I got offered a full time job with my company. I took the job, and soon after, I discovered that this also required a move to Columbus, Ohio. I took the job, and I moved. 

   So here I am, essentially starting a brand new chapter in my life. New city. New job. New people. This is the first time in my life that I have lived alone and had a “real” job. I tell ya what… It has been challenging. I have felt alone more in the last five months than I ever have. I have reflected on the last few years, and I regret some decisions I have made, while I applaud others. I have discovered that being an extrovert has its definite weaknesses. I have unintentionally hurt people and I have been selfish. Most of all, I have fallen apart spiritually and I am attempting to pick up the pieces and put them back together. When I go through challenging times, I have discovered that I do one of the most horrible things that anyone can do- I push people away. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. I would rather not talk about my problems and keep them bottled up. My pride takes over. This is not how it’s meant to be. 

   How do I deal with this? What can I do to allow others in? For starters, Mass is where we are fed emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and this needs to become more of a priority. I also need to be better at communicating and allowing my brothers and sisters to share my life and I theirs. I need to pray more. I need to focus on others and less on myself. I need to thank God for provision and blessing even though I don’t deserve any of it. I need to continually realize that my Father loves me no matter how ugly I perceive myself to be. I need to endure change with the strength and grace of God.

   I realize how heavy this post is. I know it’s super personal. It may be uncomfortable to read in spots. But it’s where I’ve been, and where I am now. It’s honesty. 

   Welcome change and make changes if need be, but don’t be caught off guard by it and the effects it can have on your life. Be prepared to endure and always remember:

“If we are intended for great ends, we are called to great hazards.” -Cardinal Newman

Salvation Terminology 101

Inspiration for this blog:

http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/trevinwax/2012/05/15/is-it-biblical-to-ask-jesus-into-your-heart/

A very interesting read, and it ties in perfectly with my blog title, so how can I not blog about it? 🙂

Now, I realize that I am Catholic, and that this is a debate among Protestants, but having a background in IFB and Wesleyan circles, I must weigh in on this debate, which quite frankly, I am happy is being had. (I know that sentence has way too many commas… I’m over it.) Southern Baptists are stirring up some very interesting discussion when it comes to the terminology used regarding salvation. First of all, this isn’t a new debate, but one that has been going on- and causing division- for hundreds and hundreds of years among all Christians. It is really surprising to me that the Southern Baptists (champions of the “altar call”) are talking about it. Nonetheless, as previously mentioned, I am happy they are discussing it.

If you grew up in a church like I did, the “sinner’s prayer” was a formulated prayer (based on, but not verbatim in Scripture) that one prays in order to be “saved.” I would argue that this idea of salvation is one-dimensional, excruciatingly basic, and limited to selected Bible verses. Notice: I didn’t say that it was wrong to say this prayer, however, if one thinks that this prayer fully encompasses biblical salvation, they are terribly mistaken. The “sinner’s prayer” typically looks like this:

Dear Lord, I believe that you sent Jesus to die for my sins and that he rose again. I ask that you forgive me of my sins and come into my heart. I accept you as my Savior. Amen.

This prayer follows the “Romans Road” ideology and is mostly based on Romans 10:9-10. The Bible, however, does not say that this specific prayer is the gateway to our salvation. This prayer has good intention no doubt, but it is a man made formula. I am definitely not doubting the sincerity of those who pray this prayer, but the fact is: a prayer doesn’t save us, God’s grace saves us. The “sinner’s prayer” is not the be-all-end-all. One may truly have a conversion by reciting this prayer, and receive God’s saving grace. One may also receive God’s saving grace by going through a process where they learn the truth about Jesus and accept it over a period of time. This idea that you must say a prescribed prayer, mark it on the calendar, and refer to it as “the day I accepted Christ” or you aren’t truly saved, is ridiculously erroneous, very often gives false assurance, and even more so, limits God with man-made rules of salvation, disguised as being “biblical.”

What is important is how we live. Whether we say a prayer or go through Confirmation, the process itself doesn’t save us. The grace that our loving God gives us through the shed blood of Jesus saves us. This “One-and Done” mentality of salvation which comes about through the “Sinner’s Prayer” ideology contradicts Scriptural salvation. Consider this from the Catechism (with obvious Scriptural references):

161 Believing in Jesus Christ and in the One who sent him for our salvation is necessary for obtaining that salvation. Since ‘without faith it is impossible to please God’ and to attain to the fellowship of his sons, therefore without faith no one has ever attained justification, nor will anyone obtain eternal life but ‘he who endures to the end.’

Salvation requires an active participation from us, the saved. Jesus says that those who endure to the end will have eternal life. As a Catholic, I believe God has given us the Church to teach us truth, feed us spiritually, and nourish us with the Sacraments. The center of my faith is Jesus, who is present in the Eucharist. This Sacrament gives me the strength to “endure to the end,” but it requires my participation.

My Christian brethren, salvation comes through obedience and repentance… and not just once. Another excerpt from the Catechism:

1431/35 Interior repentance is a radical reorientation of our whole life, a return, a conversion to God with all of our heart, an end of sin, a turning away from evil, with repugnance toward the evil actions we have committed. At the same time, it entails the desire and resolution to change one’s life, with hope in God’s mercy and trust in the help of his grace. This conversion of heart is… accomplished in daily life by… taking up one’s cross each day and following Jesus.

So why am I happy that the Baptists and other evangelicals are talking about the shallowness of some of their terminology regarding salvation? Because there is so much more to it than a one-time prayer, and it is encouraging to see that being realized by some. True conversion and salvation is not found in methods, phrases, and prayers, but rather in our daily trusting, acceptance, and active participation in God’s marvelous grace.

My Faith Journey (Part 3)

I hope it’s okay that I am using a friend of mine’s question that he brought up in my last entry. It is actually a really great segue into the next part of my spiritual journey. I brought this question up earlier:

Would God create a Church where he desired us to be in disunity, even about the smallest of things?

My friend, Jeremy, asked me to expound upon this, and this was my answer:

          “I believe this is a question that all Christians should ask themselves. It seems simple, but at the heart of the issue is biblical interpretation. How was Scripture interpreted in the early Church? Who interpreted it? Was it the Church or individuals? What was the result, and what did the early Church believe and teach? The fact is, for hundreds and hundreds of years, the Church was unified because Christians believed that Christ gave authority to the Church to teach and interpret Scripture. Fast forward to the Reformation and after: Individual interpretation becomes prevalent, and thus we have thousands and thousands of denominations because of people becoming dissatisfied with their sect of Christianity saying “I don’t agree with that,” or “The Holy Spirit doesn’t guide ME to believe that way…” A new group is formed, and the process repeats. It’s still happening today. The Church essentially bought into a secular individualism that destroyed Christian unity (not completely). So, my point is, if Christ desired us to be in unity (which I think we all can agree to that), then that means that there has to be a Church where we can be in unity. We must seriously look at the early Church, the pioneers of our Faith, study and understand what they taught and believed, and ask ourselves how this applies to us today.”

In short, the answer is “no,” God does not desire for his Church to be torn apart, yet that’s what we have. I began to really ponder this. I researched the early Church, what they wrote, what they believed, what they taught. I won’t go into specifics now; I’ll save that for future posts. But, the fact is, early Church teaching points to Roman Catholic theology. Did early Church Fathers believe in: Infant Baptism? Check. True Presence in the Eucharist? Check. The true meaning of “the communion if Saints?” Check. And many, many other doctrinal positions. Why is this important?

These were the Spirit-led Christian men who assembled the books of the New Testament. These men, these teachers and theologians whom we trusted through the power of God to put together the Holy Scriptures believed ^these^ things. The New Testament (which is the same for Protestants and Catholics) was canonized somewhere around 400 AD. 400 years of Christianity existed before that. This was only a few generations removed from the actual time of Jesus.

The early Church was given the authority from Christ to teach and interpret Scripture, not the individual Christian believer. The Bible says that “the gates of Hell shall not prevail” against the Church.

To me, it was important to really examine what these men believed if I was going to trust that the New Testament which I believe is 100% infallible, was assembled by them. I am not saying that these men were infallible, but Christianity was unified in belief at this time. There was ONE Faith, and this one Faith believed the previously mentioned dogma. The next question I had to answer: What Church looks like this today?

…

And thus, I found myself in a nearly one year battle, wrestling with the idea of becoming Catholic. I prayed HARD about what God’s will was for me. I sought advice from pastors, priests, friends, family, authors… but when it came down to it, I knew where I was being called. God was leading me to the Catholic Church.

I dropped hints to my friends and family. I was ready for someone to talk me out of it, but the circular reasoning of Protestantism never satisfied my yearning for truth. There was a period of about a month between when I decided I would start RCIA, and when I actually told someone that. (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults is the process by which one fully comes to understand the Catholic Church and her teachings, similar to but not exactly like the Protestant equivalent of membership classes.) This month was one of the most trying periods of my life. I didn’t want to leave behind the richness of my Protestant Faith. I am sure this was in part due to a certain amount of comfort I had there, but I think even more so, it was due to the “problems” I saw in me becoming Catholic. At this point, I was theologically Catholic, so that wasn’t the issue. My mind was there, my heart was not. I was going to miss southern gospel music, Fanny Crosby, the Wesleys, extemporaneous prayer, potlucks, hymn sings, campmeetings, my “evangelical” spirit, Alistair Begg, and sooo much more.

I know, this seems trite, especially to cradle Catholics. But these things were (and still ARE) a very important part of me. I shared what I was thinking with a priest that I spoke to during this time period. His response was not what I expected. He said simply:

Bring all of that with you. We need it.

Whoa. You mean, I don’t have to leave everything behind? My heart was convinced. My mind was convinced. Years, prayers, talks, books, fights 🙂 and many tears later, on December 14, 2011, I met with Renee at Communion of Saints Parish, and shared with her my desire to become Catholic. I started the RCIA process on January 9, 2012. I was confirmed and received Eucharist on April 7. My first full day as a Catholic was April 8, Easter Sunday.

After years of journeying, I was finally Home.

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I wrestled with many of the big differences in Protestant and Catholic theology. It was not an easy process. I chose not to go into detail about this in my previous entries. I would like to tackle these things separately, and give them each an entry or two of their own. Baptism, Eucharist, Confession, just to name a few.

I will close with this: I, as a Roman Catholic, live solely for the glory of God. I cling to the mysterious and unfathomable love of God. I am saved by the amazing grace of Jesus Christ.

And this relationship requires my daily conversion.

 

 

My Faith Journey (Part 2)

At this point, I decided to pray. I had a specific prayer that I would recite as often as I remembered that went something like this:

Dear Lord, it is my desire to know truth. Among all of these different ways to believe, please show me Your truth.

During my sophomore year at IWU, I began to research denominations and doctrines, ask questions, and discuss differing views with friends and professors. My mind began to shift. I knew towards the end of my sophomore year, that my theological beliefs no longer aligned with the brand of Baptist I was taught growing up, but I still didn’t know what that meant. I desired to belong to a church. I wanted to be able to say that I was a part of a specific denomination, but I never could reach a point where my beliefs lined up with one particular sect of Christianity. My positions on certain doctrines were not concrete quite yet. I knew that in one area, my thinking had really shifted. Growing up IFB, I had always been taught about the Ordinances of the church; Communion and Baptism. Communion was something that we did quarterly, and Baptism was for already proclaimed Christ followers (Believers Baptism). Even more so, these were not sacramental, meaning, they were strictly symbolic- no grace was received through them. This opposes a majority of Christianity that holds a sacramental view of Communion and Baptism. Presbyterians, Lutherans, Catholics, Episcopals, Wesleyans, Methodists… Needless to say, through much research, Bible study, and prayer, my thinking had shifted to the sacramental view. When I was in high school and began to really comprehend what Communion was, I always thought:

There has to be more to this than just symbolism!

I honestly was ignorant to the fact that other Christians believed that Communion was a Sacrament. And now, I believed that it was. Now I was able to narrow down the list even further. My junior and senior year came around, and I was really considering joining the Wesleyan Church. There is so much richness in Wesleyan theology, which has roots in John Wesley, methodism, and the Anglicans. Unfortunately, many Wesleyan churches today have become hyper-evangelical and forgotten their high church roots. The Wesleyan Discipline describes Baptism (which they believe can be done at birth or as an adult) and Communion as Sacraments. I once had a conversation with a well-educated Wesleyan who argued that Wesleyans do not believe in the sacramental view… Wow. C’mon, know your faith!!!

Alas, I did not agree with certain Wesleyan doctrines, and I wanted to join a church only if I could express full agreement in their statement of faith. This seemed like a lost cause, but I kept praying for truth. I kept asking God to put me where He wanted me. I kept seeking God’s will.

The summer before my senior year was the first time I ever considered Catholicism as an option. And when I say option… I mean it was a VERY distant option. I worked as an RA at IWU for the Upward Bound program that summer and my fellow male RA was… well, I don’t know if he was Catholic or Anglican or searching or what… but he sure sounded Catholic to me. We had many, many in depth conversations about faith. Our conversations centered around the historical Church (pre Reformation) and what they believed and taught. Though I had heard it before, very informatively he explained to me the idea of the Church being an authority when it came to doctrine, biblical interpretation and matters of faith. This made sense to a small part of my brain, but the rest of my brain wasn’t convinced, much less was my heart. We debated for hours that summer. It was good for me.

I know this is a short entry, but I need to get to bed! To be continued, again.

My Faith Journey (Part 1)

This could be a book, seriously. I will spare you all of the details and hit the main points. If you have any comments or questions at all based on any of the following, or if you would like me to expand on anything I mention, please comment and let me know!

First of all, I would not be where I am today if it were not for Rick and Shirley Andricks. I lovingly call them dad and mom. 😉 The household in which I grew up fostered a rich environment of Christian Faith. We went to good ol’ FBC every Sunday morning and evening and most Wednesday evenings. Needless to say, we were “churched” extensively, every week. For this, I was never bitter. I have very fond memories of Sunday School, Bible School, friends I made, songs we sang, games we played, Bible stories, Sunday “hymn request night,” and so many more. This is where my Faith journey began: First Baptist Church in Bryan, Ohio. I made a cognitive and heart-felt decision to follow Jesus Christ when I was 12 years old and was baptized shortly after. How would I have ever come to Faith in Christ had it not been for my parents taking me to church, and even more so, their example and dedication to the Lord? Thanks mom and dad.

Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old, he will not depart from it. –Proverbs 22:6

Anyway, let’s fast forward to my teenage years. First of all, UGH. These were some of the most awkward, ugly, and embarrassing years of my life. My guess is that this is true for everyone. At least, it makes me feel better to think so! I was taller, fatter, and pimplier than anyone in 6-8th grade. I was what you call an “early bloomer,” two years ahead of the puberty curve. I was that giant, awkward kid with red dots on his face that you all were grossed out by because you wouldn’t understand for another few years. But, it was okay. I still had friends. Good friends. Especially at church, in youth group. I remember looking forward to youth group every week, though I kept this a secret from most people and acted like I hated it. That was a quick phase, because by the time high school came, I was actively involved in youth group. I participated in just about any activity you could think of. I was not ashamed of my Faith even at that age, and tried my best to live it out at school. As high school progressed, I became more and more interested in Christianity. Not only did I desire to strengthen my personal relationship with God, but I also wanted to know exactly what I believed, and why. For awhile, I went along with precisely what my church taught me (on every doctrine). The Independent Fundamental Baptists (IFBs) are very good at convincing you that everyone else is wrong. In fact, I think to some of them, it is more important to “prove” others wrong than it is to promote and teach their own doctrine, or at least it appears as such. Proof: It was a very serious and troubling thing that I had chosen to attend a Wesleyan university, because Wesleyans believe in A, B and C… I am not kidding.

SIDEBAR: I am very grateful for many things growing up in this church. There are many loving, decent, God-fearing people there whom I respect and admire. The point isn’t to bash the church or any of the people. I am merely sharing my experience. NO church is perfect.

Moving on to college. I attended Indiana Wesleyan University. It was my freshman year here that I attended a university-mandated class for all students called World Changers. The name is awful, I know, but the content of the class was very interesting, new to me, and even… life changing. Students would pick apart different doctrines, and debate in class. (This certainly was not all the class was about, but it is what it often turned into.) I fully remember myself, the self-proclaimed Baptist, arguing for eternal security, and against the ordination of women, and why the KJV was superior to all other Bible versions… so on and so forth. I would present my case, and another student would intelligently, and probably more coherently, present theirs. Wait… another Christian? Not believing just like me? Hm. They MUST be mistaken… or was I? And who’s to know for SURE what the right answer was concerning all of these doctrinal issues? We read the same Bible and came up with different conclusions. Was the Holy Spirit leading me incorrectly, or them? Who had the right interpretation?

Questioning. Uncertainty. This was a new state of mind for me. This was life changing.

Don’t get me wrong, I never doubted my basic Faith in Christ, nor did I doubt theirs. But I began to ask myself, “Would God create a Church where he desired us to be in disunity, even about the smallest of things?” If the answer is “yes,” Christ is a liar, the Bible isn’t true, and there is no point in claiming Christianity. The answer has to be “no.” My world was shaken.

To be continued… I’m tired. 🙂

Initial Post

Friends, family, fans (right…), and bloggers,

This is my attempt to start a blog and stick to it. I think it can be done. In the days and weeks (months and years? maybe…) to follow, I will share my thoughts, mostly on Faith. A little bit of my day to day life will be thrown in there, and what would a blog with my name on it be without a little bit of politics? It wouldn’t be me… so, hopeyoulikeit. 😉 Ultimately, this is a blog about my Faith in God and how this relationship is an integral part of my everyday life, my daily conversion.

Thanks for reading!

Jake